You would think with only a week or so left to finish, that I would be responding to Teacher Tube, but no something else has taken precedence- life questions. As a girl of 35 whose mom was suddenly killed in a wreck 17 years ago, I sometime find myself trying to figure out or remember who mom really was. I bet this is common but it can be all encompassing and haunting. Well here is the latest question, "Did my sister get her excellent entertaining sense from our mom?" At first I quickly responded with a laugh, and "NO!" Then I added something stupid about how could she feel confident in entertaining with old faded carpet. (I now realize that is my own insecurity- 15 year old golf course green) But now I am stuck pondering, remembering, wondering. We have one kooky wonderful twist to every family memory session, namely Laura. Born 10 years after I was and spending much of her life more like with a smaller part of the family she remembers a different side to mom. She said that mom often had parties and showers that she felt obligated to host. Now that stirred the pot. I never remember a shower at all although she did hold small dinner parties for those in her department at the hospital. Well, let's to cut to the chase. My mind is churning so I'd like to share some snippets about entertaining that I have taken from her.
Number 1: Drug abusers ruined it for the rest of us! I used to be able to call the doctor and get some medicine if I were hosting a party. I could get the house clean and lose 5 pounds in 3 days! Paraphrased from Norma and a sentiment my aunt has echoed.
My interpretation: Company came to assess your weight and check if your house was clean.
Number 2: Before guests arrived an emotional wrath was cast on all. Again this revolved around a whirlwind of cleaning activities such as using a strong bleach solution for cleaning and using a toothbrush to clean the edge where the carpet met the tile.
My interpretation: Is having company really any fun?
Number 3: Be sure to be the cutest one.
My interpretation: Be sure to be the cutest one there.
Now that the basic foundation is set let's take a look at who is coming:
A coworker, friend of dad from out of town.
Maybe a boss of dads.
Maybe an Indiana family member.
Kids for a birthday or Halloween party.
Shortly after finishing her school we moved to Houston, mom went to work for the first time, and the count of 5 kids in the house quickly dropped to 3. Mom worked at MC Hospital starting at night in CCU. It didn't take long for her to prove herself as very competent and extremely hard working As she wiggled through the shopital ranks she collected some good friends. She had never been very out going before but making friends in the work place seemed to work for her. These friends and department members were now the recipients of her invitations. Now what did prep look like?
Still the hectic cleaning thing but not quite to the extent of her early years. Perhaps we were just better helpers or she was just too tired to care as much.
If she was fretting about the weight I don't' think it was mentioned.
As for being cute? She had discovered the Lands End Catalogue! Need I say more?
In addition to the list of guests from work we can add:
The family from Canada
The Douthits from Livingston
Gary Gains, Bob Ellis, and other Mansville related work friends
Friends and family in town for 2 weddings
An occasional birthday party
I think that mom really liked having company when they arrived. She like the conversation, laughter, food. Oh about the food. I remember the following:
Thick pork chops with spicy tomato soup sauce and bell pepper, Au gratin potatoes,
green beans with pearl onions, always toss salad with Wishbone Italian, and hot bread or rolls.
Chicken truffles(still my favorite), spinach salad, rolls, I can't remember anything else here.
For family gatherings it was often rump roast, salad, rolls, baked potatoes and dark gravy.
Dessert you ask? Strawberry pie, hello dollies, coconut layer cake, lemon filled angel food, or of courses anyting on Blue Bell.
I remember the era of the cheese pastry appetizer. Tha homemade thin pastry dough, filled with a buttery 3 cheese mixture, folded, baked and then cut in little diamonds. I also loved the short lived cucumber dip. She always love a nut, or wheat thin.
Mom knew she had a lot to learn about Houston style of entertaining. After I had been to a party, formal, dance, senior brunch, luncheon...mom would always want to hear every details from the food, the decorations, to the guest list. A couple of things she did that seemed smart was to marinade her shrimp at my house so her own wouldn't stink at party time. Use any available children to help serve and clean up (we loved being there anyway.)
So has all this recollection helped to satisfy the question whether sister learned about entertaining from mom? Nope. I do think that she picked up a lot of the basics from mom but I think she had to get a lot on her own. I remember Gay as a painfully shy kid and to see her now is amazing. She can plan and execute a perfect gathering and be a beautiful hostess at the same time. Remember she must be the cutest one there!
3 comments:
Wow: responding to this will be no small task... Entertaining was definitely a responsibility and not for pleasure.
Mom was always better at responsibililty than spontanaiety, relaxation, and enjoyment. Responsibility was defined ; the others left too much to chance and the unknown. Responsibility = clenched fists; relaxation = open hands.
So, I think Gay learned the joys of life on her own, from entertaining to vacationing, child-raising, etc. She might have learned that she had to do these things from Mom, but to want to do it? That she learned from someone or something else.
I think that the desire to entertain comes of having genuine friendships, too. During Mom's life, family, housework, hospital work, etc. - those were the important things. The advent of friendships came with the luxuries of time and money. Mom would have been reluctant to spend either frivolously, but I think Gay has had the benefit of both in her life.
Haven't you noticed the same trend in your own life? Now that your kids are a little older and don't demand as much of your time and attention you can do other things like play bells and go to Sunday school and visit with the old ladies? Time and money allow room for pleasure. (Can you see why so many people who struggle with both turn to drugs and/or alchohol instead? Quick fixes.)
Also, when Mom found some of those benefits, she spent them on herself. Although not selfishly, Mom spent time cultivating herself and her career. Think about all of the hours she spent working, reading, and preparing. You can't do that and spend a lot of time on friendships.
I don't know if you remember this, but she often hosted open-houses, luncheons, etc. for work related stuff: diabetes support groups, impotence support groups, etc. There would be lots of food and a couple of speakers? It was always important that those events were nice, and there was the added benefit of a budget to spend!
Let's see, as for entertaining at home... wedding showers in the early years for Barbara Johnson, Fran Summers, and Kay Williamson before each remarried, baby showers for Jan Biros and that tall blond woman that lived across from you guys in Mission Bend, going away and/or retirement parties for others... Oh, and the girls in her refresher classes for their graduation!
In attendance: always Monica Koeppel, Avis Thompson, Bernita Daily, Kay Williamson, Fran Summers, whoever worked in her department at the time, sometimes Kathy Petak, Coral Dix...
To eat? Definitely the cheese appetizers, sausage balls, fruits and veggies, nuts, wine, coffee. Sweets? Probably, but I don't remember... Oh, I remember making cucumber sandwiches a few times, and only once watercress - yuck!
Clean? Always, even with the gold carpeting. But remember, by the late 70's/early 80's she had started to redecorate a bit: new carpet, refinished chairs and table in the living room, renovated bathroom, wallpaper. (Remember the summer of wallpapering?)
Cute? You bet. Where do you think we learned it??
As for entertaining in the evening, that was rarer. I think by the 80's it was ok to take people out to dinner rather than feel compelled to cook. There was a seafood place (Johnny Walkers?) that they used to go when Dad had people here for business. It had to be a place that was light on garlic, though. I remember that she found nothing more offensive than garlic breath!
I can't remember them ever going out with or having over any Cron people (alchoholics), but definitely old friends like the Honeys as they traveled south to Guadalajara, Gary Gaines, Leo Schmidt, the family with all of the kids (Shearings?)
I was always amazed, though, at how lively she became in a group of people. Once the party started, she was "on", but not in a cheesy Mary Kay way. Genuinely interested and always glad to see whoever was there. (Well, except for the Cron people. Alchoholics, adulterers too.)
Have I left anything out? Probably, but it is nearing 78 degrees and I'd better get out for my run before the heat sets in.
I can't believe you had the energy to do anything yesterday. I was sooo tired that I spent the evening napping on the couch and then went to bed!
Send me some broccoli salad, please. Yum!
Love you!
I loved your perspective and keen mememories. I could hardly remember a name. I told Gay about our discussion and she admits to a lot of time and effort going into becoming the hostess she is. I was surpreised to get a call from her by 10:00 this morning. I figured she needs to be resting. I think she couldn't have been more pleased with the outcome of the entire weekend.
Hi this is Greytpassion. You are moving right along there, girl! I chose my avatar because I love learning to create gourmet foods. But your avatar is great! I am not sure I will finish the 23 by August 5th. I have backed away and felt better about doing it. It is still way to much for me to process at times. But I know why my second year students seem one way, but are not really there. Also, this is a great thing to tell others about that are goint to have to do Wikis in the class next year or other techology applications and need information galore!
Post a Comment